Posted by: Ety W. | March 12, 2008

My Testimony 9: Point of Understanding

This is part 9 of “My Testimony”. If you want to start at the beginning, click here.

My journey as a seeker of God had suddenly brought me to a very unexpected place. I never, ever, would have dreamed that I would end up so far from where I had started. As I sat huddled near the farm house wood stove that frosty morning, I began to explain the events which had brought me there. I doing so, I found that the thing I really wanted to talk about was my fruitless attempts to find God.

My problem as I saw it, was this: that God was Spirit, but I was trapped in a physical body, in a physical world. All the reading, meditating, chanting, rituals, and drugs not only could not change that, but no matter how hard I tried, could not even bridge this gap between God and me. God was “up there” and I was “down here.” No matter how hard I strained and struggled to reach Him, I failed every time. With each failure I had became increasingly frustrated. I was also becoming increasingly desperate. So far my life in the physical world had been filled with rejection, loneliness, and pain. I was tired of it and weary of seeking. I confided to Fr. and Mrs. D that it seemed that the only way to release myself from this painful physical existence and find God, was to end my own physical life. However, from my studies of eastern mysticism, I had come to believe that reincarnation was true, and concluded that like some cruel joke, it would keep me trapped in a physical body for lifetimes to come.

Of all the things that were said that morning, there is one thing that is indelible in my mind. After pouring out my heart and soul, Mrs. D finally explained to me that “Jesus is the perfect union of God and Man.” I only wish I could describe in words, the impact that this statement had on me. Later, I would try to describe this as a “light bulb” moment, but it was more like an atomic bomb of understanding rather than simply switching on a light. Never before had anything made so much sense to me as did those words. Jesus was God who became Man, and by doing so, made a way from the physical world that I loathed, to the spiritual world that I craved. The God who had been so fuzzy in my understanding, like an out of focus lens, was suddenly brilliant with crystal clarity. The God I was seeking was Jesus.Content copyright 2008 by If you find it anywhere else, it’s been stolen.
Click here for conclusion.

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